Is Cherie Blair misunderstood or bonkers?

by ANNA SEAMAN and DAVID THOMAS
Last updated at 00:23 04 July 2007

In a documentary to be screened by the BBC tomorrow night, Cherie Blair defiantly announces: "I am not bonkers." But given her husband's track record with the truth, can we believe her?
Femail decided to examine some of the bizarre fads to which Mrs Blair resorted while she was the chatelaine of Downing Street: crystal therapy, clairvoyants and inflatable anticellulite trousers, to name just a few.
Here, ANNA SEAMAN and DAVID THOMAS compile a collection of her most diverting hobbies. We leave it to you, dear reader, to decide whether she's "bonkers" or not.
Cherie Blair
• AURICULOTHERAPY
Do you think a human ear looks like a baby in the womb? No? Well, squint and turn the ear upside down in your mind - any better?
Cherie was certainly convinced, because she pitched up at the 2001 Labour Party Conference in Brighton sporting a small pin, covered by a gauze plaster, in the top part of her right ear.
She'd just undergone auriculotherapy, a form of acupuncture based on the not-remotely-barking notion that points on the ear represent the different body parts of that imaginary ear-baby.
Cherie's needle was in the so-called Shen-men point (as opposed to the Bin-Men or Flowerpot-Men points, perhaps).
Cherie Blair
This is the master point of ear acupuncture and translates from the Chinese as the "gate to godliness" - not to mention "the gate to gullible women's purses".
Cherie's stud was intended to combat stress and boost energy levels, and could be pressed if she felt particularly anxious or panicky. Or perhaps it would bring Downing Street security swooping to her side?
So did it work? Well, the next year saw the Cheriegate scandal of the Blairs' Bristol flats, bought for them by conman Peter Foster, which ended with Cherie's tearful TV confessional. Press that stud, Cherie, press!
• MAYAN REBIRTHING
In Mel Gibson's blood-soaked film Apocalypto, the ancient Mayans are obsessed by human sacrifice.
The Blairs, however, preferred a gentler, A-mock-alypto Mayan vibe. Holidaying on the Mexican Riviera in August 2001, they underwent a "rebirthing ritual" in a temazcal - a Mayan steam bath which represents the womb. Herb-infused water was thrown over heated lava rocks to create a cleansing sweat and balance the Blairs' "energy flow", while their therapist, Nancy Aguilar, told the credulous couple to imagine animal-shapes in the steam and explained what such visions meant.
The Prime Minister of Great Britain and his wife, a Crown Court judge, wished for peace on earth, then screamed to signify the pain of rebirth before venturing outside again.
They were offered watermelon and papaya, then told to smear any uneaten fruit over each other's bodies, along with mud from the jungle outside. They then walked hand in hand down the beach to swim in the sea.
Did it work? The 9/11 catastrophe came a month later, followed by six years of global conflict. So not much peace, but plenty of Apocalypto.
• MBT WEIGHT LOSS TRAINERS
Ever-alert for the latest thigh-shrinking technology, Cherie took a break from buying second-hand shoes on eBay and, in October 2004, wore a revolutionary type of trainer - based on the stride of Kenya's Masai warriors - which claimed to be the first footwear that has a positive effect on the entire body.
MBTs (the initials stand for Masai Barefoot Technology, or, say cynics, Must Buy Today) were said to encourage weight-loss, beat cellulite, improve posture and even relieve joint-pain by making middle-aged Caucasian ladies stride with the gait of African herdsmen and lion-hunters.
Worryingly, however, MBT shoes have such a dramatic, disconcerting effect on one's normal stride that they come with an instruction manual, effectively teaching the user how to walk.
Did they work? Well, don't expect to see Mrs Blair herding cows around the savannahs of Connaught Square.
• FENG SHUI
The very first indication that Mrs Blair was, in her heart, less of a Cherie and more of a Moon Unit Fifi Trixibelle type came 18 months after her arrival in Downing Street.
In November 1998, feng shui expert Rosalyn Dexter was invited to numbers 10, 11 and 12 Downing Street to apply the teachings of the then-trendy Chinese art of environmental harmony.
Ms Dexter and her team of fengmeisters concluded that the front door was facing in the wrong direction and should be painted red or yellow, not black.
Tony Blair, born under the Chinese astrological sign of the water snake (hmm), needed a fish tank with three goldfish and two loaches in his study to help him work.
The PM was also advised to sleep with his head pointing to the north-east and his toes to the south-west to get the best rest.
A concave mirror also needed to be installed in the bedroom to deflect evil spirits - although Cherie might have reckoned that a large cannon pointed at her bitter enemy Gordon Brown, next-door at No.11, would be more effective.
Did it work? The door stayed black. And, eight-and-a-half years later, Gordon replaced Tony in No. 10.
• REJUVALISM SESSIONS
Cherie Blair
In September 2003, still troubled by stubborn extra pounds, in her bank-balance as well as on her body, Cherie tried another revolutionary method of weight loss.
RejuvaSlim, billed as "the world's only guaranteed weight and inch loss programme", involved electrical currents being zapped through her body to eliminate toxins.
At a cost of £695, Cherie visited hairdresser Daniel Galvin's West End salon for 12 sessions, which began with her stomach being photographed to produce special images so that the therapist could examine her digestive process.
Some 32 electrodes were then attached to Cherie's body with sticky suction pads, wired up to a machine emitting electrical currents to tap away at the "intestinal plaque" lining the colon and other intestines. According to the company behind RejuvaSlim, it eliminated "toxic waste", thereby the need to calorie-count or exercise.
Did it work? Mrs Blair claimed to have dropped from size 14 to 12 on the lower half of her body. Mr Galvin, however, gained almost £700.
• FACIAL ANALYSIS DIET
Any forty-something mum will sympathise with the trouble Cherie had in getting back in shape after giving birth to Leo in May 2000.
But it wasn't enough for Cherie just to lay off the crisps and exercise occasionally.
Cherie Blair
No, she turned to the fashionable French diet guru Elizabeth Gray Gibaud, who also helped actress Kate Winslet to shed four stone through her "facial analysis diet".
Charging £88 for her first appointment and £64 for follow-ups, Ms Gibaud studied Cherie's pores, wrinkles and under-eye puffiness, to determine which minerals and salts the mother-of-four was missing.
She then devised a diet calling for Cherie to bake her own oat biscuits to a special recipe. For breakfast, she ate them lightly spread with unsalted butter and topped with cucumber.
For lunch, she was allowed only raw vegetables. Dinner consisted of a jacket potato or green vegetables with fish or chicken.
Alcohol, tea and coffee were strictly forbidden. Instead, Mrs Blair drank a glass of warm water with lemon.
Fruit was also banned because, according to the therapist, it turned to sugar. Cheeseburgers, full English breakfasts, Danish pastries and clotted cream were also, presumably, no-nos.
Did it work? Well, Cherie lost an impressive stone in just two weeks.
But you don't need facial analysis to do that. Just go on the "eat-less" diet. Cost? Not a penny.
• BIO-ELECTRIC SHIELD
You have to wonder about the sanity of the world when the highly educated, super-ambitious woman tipped to be the first female U.S. President seriously assures an equally bright and determined lawyer that she can protect herself from evil forces by wearing a mystic golden pendant.
But in November 1998, Cherie demonstrated her love of magical-power dressing when she was pictured wearing a pendant, apparently bought on the advice of Hillary Clinton, America's First Lady at the time, which used the ancient art of crystal healing to create a "bio-electric shield".